Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
