And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize