Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize