I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
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Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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