Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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