NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
