Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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