So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
