look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
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He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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