Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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