I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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