OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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