Me too!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
