wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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