so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
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Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
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I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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