homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
