Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
