I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
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I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
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By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Oh god it's open bar.
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