Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
