Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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