I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
