I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
high people should be assigned attendants
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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