Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just forgot I was standing up.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
