hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
