just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
