Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
