Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
