i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
