if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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