I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The ass gains better be worth it
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