hotel room ftw
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
