It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
4 words: hood of his car
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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