Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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