I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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