WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I supernannyed him into submission
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
