Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
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I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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