Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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