Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
