Plan B is the new Plan A
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
