Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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