Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
