how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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