We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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