She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
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so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
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The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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