Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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