On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i out mim tonsoeep
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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