I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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