I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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