Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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