The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
