she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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