no. you can't hotbox the world.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
