Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
