Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
