I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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