I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
