i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
