Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
