didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
