The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
