We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
